When to say I love you

“I love you guys so much!” blah… how often do we hear this sentence on a daily basis. THIS IS A PROBLEM! People are being desensitized to the value of the word. This is supposed to be a sentence that is used for the most precious of people in special moments. “Thanks so much for subscribing to my channel, I love you guys!” WHAT?! You don’t even know any of these people… and you are saying the same thing to them as you would to your mother? Weird. Then we wonder why people have relationship problems. If you are using the same terminology with strangers as you are with your significant other, subconsciously you are equating them. Try explaining this to someone learning English. It doesn’t really make sense.

Over using “I love you” …Do you really?

Can you really overuse a word or phrase? Yes, of course you can. Jut like the word bitch. This word used to be a really bad word not acceptable to use in public. Now look here at all the different ways we use bitch in our modern language. You see people everyday using the term “I love you” inappropriately. Let’s take a look at what the definition of the word.

Definition of Love

1. a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
2. a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.
3. sexual passion or desire. [1]

Noun : “an intense feeling of deep affection.”

Verb: “feel a deep romantic or sexual attachment to (someone).” [2]

Now that we have a clear understanding of what the word means. Let’s explore why this is dangerous to over use the word or phrase “I love you.”

1. It can give people the wrong Idea

For example, a girl I had only just met said, “OMG you’re so funny! I love you!” So weird right? Well I figured this girl genuinely liked me and wanted to hang out. Wrong, next time I saw her it was awkward, she wasn’t really acting very friendly. Not only can you give people the wrong idea, this can lead to problematic encounters such as mine. Imagine how dangerous this could be saying to the wrong lover… (I smell a crazy stalker comin’)

2. Loose sensitivity and Value to the word

What would it mean to lose sensitivity to a word? A little rule to follow, look for the butterflies or happy feelings. You should feel happiness or a sense of comfort whenever you say “I love you” or if someone says those words to you.  Like you see in the definitions of the word above, it does not say “a word said to a stranger or someone you know very little about.”

3. Not Connecting as strongly to those closest to us

Imagine if the most cherished words your parents and loved ones said to you, they also said to strangers on the street? The value and connection you had with that person now has been equated to a person they just met. Does that mean the connection you thought you had between your parents isn’t really special? It’s so important to have close relationships in life that you can count on for support. If you are not sure or fully trusting those relationships, are they even there to begin with?

4. Making those close to you feel devalued

I see this so much on tv. And I had to experience this first hand. It had to do with a nickname given to me by an ex-boyfriend. Usually these little words are used to make a small connection and make the person feel special. Once I heard that special word used to a complete stranger…automatically I felt devalued. The relationship that I had with that person suddenly was lessoned. It might seem like such a silly thing but trust me… relationships are a series of good or bad little things adding up. Every little thing makes a difference.

Honestly…If you are a bee that is doing this, just stop. Stop right now telling people you don’t have an intimate relationship with, “I love you.” Don’t try to argue with me or justify why you do this. Broaden your vocabulary and use other terminology. To make it easier for us here are some examples:

1. “you’re so funny!”
2. “I appreciate you and your support.”
3. “I like you because ______.”
4. “You’re really great at what you do and I enjoy your talent.”
5. “I think you’re so cool!” (Great, funny, smart, intelligent, talented, skilled, gifted, bitchin’-see what I did there ?)

Please continue to show love to those in your life that you are in a CLOSE relationship. DO more acts of love. SHOW love more than using the phrase. The world needs more actions of love, not false words or promises of love.

[1] Dictionary.com

[2] Google.com